August 23, 2012

My little......ah big miracle

 
Well Ronan had another check up today
I always get nervous before....pray like crazy and get defensive.
I have been thinking a lot lately that God has preformed a miracle. 
Ronan
I deep down believe that God can heal Ronan
I have been thinking that this is that he was not have to have any special treatment anymore and his DNA will have changed
I have been frustrated with how to attempt to show the medical field this
Take him off enzymes
stop percussion
no more salt and vitamins
It has been a struggle in my mind and my heart....I earnestly believe that God has healed him
Then it hit me....or should I say God hit me
Ronan is my miracle
He weighs 20 pounds 3 oz.
Just under 28 inches long
He will never have a DNA change
he will always have salt and vitamins
he will always need percussion and enzymes
But God has given us the best possible result to all forms of therapy
Our miracle is that Ronan will always get the best if not better results to whatever form of therapy or medication he is to take
He is not statistically supposed to be in the 85 percentile
But he is
He lungs sound clean and he is not coughing
God has granted a miracle in a different way then I expected and could see that until today
I feel guilty for getting frustrated with God but I am confident he has forgiven me

There are a lot A LOT of people praying for Ronan and I thank you

God is Good


August 15, 2012

Fears=Anxiety

3 fears to me means the 3 things that make me most anxious

Play grounds. 
I hate them and very rarely do I go to one with the kids without Jeremy
For any of you that know my children know that my kids are very very VERY clumsy
They are also very daring and have no fear.
With the older two I can pretty much just not watch and then I am all good.  Let them play but not really pay attention or even look at what they are doing a whole lot.....bad parenting maybe, but the alternative is helicopter parenting.....I don't know which is worse so I will stick to not looking. 

Driving beside a semi truck.
In 1999 coming home for Christmas break I was getting a ride from my friend and we hit black glare ice and slide onto the highway.....just happens to be that there was a semi driving down the highway.
The front of the semi drove over the front of the Chrysler Daytona and then spun us out and then the last tires of the trailer of the semi drove over the back of the car. 
All that was left was where we were sitting....it was a miracle from God. 
But since then driving beside them is a fear....I can see the wheels.

I have a strong fear of my kids not loving God. 
God provides all that I need and all that they need.
I fear that they will choose to turn their back on God. 
I depend on God to help me teach them and guide them in the best possible way I can but it is still a very real fear of mine. 







On a different not Ronan has an appointment on the 23rd so I will update on him then.