July 28, 2012

A list..... 20 random facts about yourself

I stole this list from a friend(thanks E)
Thought it would be fun....need some new ideas so here is the list if you would like to join.

1. 20 random facts about yourself
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrasing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misundertand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

So 20 random facts.....
1-I am one of those women that has realized that I look more feminine with short hair than long.
2-I never wanted girls when I had kids....I have one.
3-Would rather go bra shopping and swim suit shopping in the same day rather than pant shopping....it is torture
4-I like to paint....this includes my house, and artistically
5-Am pretty sure that my 5 year old daughter could understand how a computer works better than me  :s
6-I am starting to go on a mission to make people understand how important it is to be an organ donor....my son may need it some day
7-Like cooking new thing...but don't like baking
8-I like to pack to move....unfortunatly my husband and I seem to have boughten our forever home. 
9-I suck at house keeping
10- I suck at time management
11-I am a Ford girl....that is pretty much all I want to drive...blame my dad and the fact that Ford makes a good vehicle
12-Desperatly want to see Hope Springs
13-Spent 3/4 of my time in highschool playing basket ball and haven't played it since....
14-I want to travel and my husband does, but not as much as I do.
15-I have lived in Saskatchewan my whole life and cheer for the Edmonton Eskimos and the Montreal Canadians(when I watch hockey)
16- I am very sentimental and loyal....that is why I cheer for the teams above.  I was at the opening ceremonies of the molson centre and the first CFL game I went to was in Edmonton for a playoff game with my cousin
17-I grew up living on the same yard until I got married, same house till I was 16.  Hence why I like to move.
18- The only traveling I did as a kid was to visit family.  Hence why I want to travel.
19- I always thought I would be a missionary....I married a missionary kid.
20-I will not be a missionary as long as Ronan lives with us. 
Please let me know if you have joined...I think it will be fun. 

July 26, 2012

Camping.....Why did we buy a camper???

Last year at about this time we bought a tent trailer.
I grew up camping in a tent trailer...it was fun and worked well for all involved.
My husband never camped as a kid....so he wanted to give it a try because he likes to camp and be out doors.  So we looked for one just to see if we could afford one. 
We found one from a family in church.  It is in good shape and has a port-a-potty....woo hoo. 
I was and still excited that I don't have to pack kitchen supplies and dishes when we go out.  It is all kept in the camper...tenting made me crazy because of all the packing and then storing of that stuff. 
We got off the ground.  I liked that a lot.  Plus out of the rain when it rains. 

Which brings me to last year. 
We tried twice to go in the month of august...always rain. 
The first time...we drove a while finally set it up in the rain and took it down the next day in the rain.....FUN
The second time was again rain so we didn't even bother going out. 
The third time it was nice most of it...but rained at night almost all the time and was cold considering it was almost the end of august.  It was a good time tho...better than the other two. 

This year. 
We planned early and booked a site early. 
We introduced our friends from the previous year to a new lake.  We were kind of nervous, as the weather here is very unpredictable. 
Well we got there set and all was good. 
bed time came and took a while to get to sleep.
Then the thunder came and the lightning...and a bit of rain.  My kids usually never wake up from storms, but not that night.  Jer laid there with them for a while.  Then it calmed and all was good. 
The next day our friends go showed up....it was fun a day. 
We put the kids all to bed and went for some adult time and a drink by the fire. 
After a while I jokingly stated that we should go check on the kids in case on is puking or something. 
When we got there...no one was puking so we got ready for bed....half hour later Ronan started vomiting. 
I said right them and there that I wanted to go home...I was cold and didn't want to clean this up.
Jeremy reasoned with me that if we were in the van he would still be vomiting. 
So I said fine. and tried to figure out how to get warm. 
The next morning I was hand washing blankets and sleeper....while Jer was trying to convince me to stay another night. 
I said yes of course we would go to the beach....I promised the kids. 
We were there all day....it was great....loved it. 
But we were still going to go home before bed cause it was supposed to rain all the next day. 
Again Jeremy convinced me to stay.....
it rained all night...lightly....stopped raining for us to get packed up....started raining hard 5 minutes after we left....perfect. 

Why do we camp.....not sure.....not looking promising. 
on a side note....we are pretty sure that Ronan has vomitting episodes when he is about to pop a tooth out.....weird child....love him still tho. 

July 17, 2012

Well Said

A friend of mine from bible school has a private blog.  A while ago she did a post on parenting and the different forms.  I loved the way she said things and how nice it would have been to read something like that with my first child .  So I requested permission to repost most of it.  Thanks Julia. 

I was pretty clueless about the intensely strong opinions people have about different parenting styles. Holy cow. Momma Bear rears up and fiercely defends everything she holds dear....

Babywise moms roll their eyes at AP moms for allowing their babies to become so attached that Babe can't fall asleep on his own without be nursed to sleep, even after he passes into toddlerhood. AP moms attack Babywise moms for forcing their babies into unnatural rigid schedules. Everyone is horrified at parents who "Ferberized" their baby into getting them to sleep through the night by letting them cry it out for hours on end.

Sound familiar, Momma?

Okay, maybe I'm simplifying, assuming, and exaggerating a bit here.... or am I? I'm sure there are more parenting styles out there that I don't know about and quite frankly, I don't want to know. I'm gonna tell you what we did with our first baby, why we did it, and yes, WHAT THE BEST PARENTING STYLE IS. I'll tell you, because I too have a very strong opinion about it. This is coming from my [limited] experience, what I've seen in my friend's lives and what I read online.

In nursing school, I had learned about "attachment theory" in a child development course. Sure, sounded good to me (I hated studying theories!! I'm a math/science girl.). So I figured Attachment Parenting (AP) must be related..... nurture a child, you will become attached and we all live happily ever after. When I was preggers with Thalo, I had read and heard a bit more about AP and really liked the principles that I read about. Breastfeeding? Yes please. Baby-wearing? Sure, sounds great. Responding to baby's cries? Of course! Babies are little people and crying is one of their only ways to communicate.

When Thalo was a newborn, I started reading Babywise during his 45-minute long night feeds. Sounded good to me! Baby sleeps. Baby wakes up and cries because he's hungry. Baby eats. Baby plays. Baby fusses, and this time you know he's not hungry.... so he must be tired. Baby sleeps again. Actually, Thalo was doing much of this routine on his own already, so..... that's what we went with. Also, I LOVED that fact that my baby could fall asleep on his own without being nursed to sleep and slept "through the night" (aka: a 6-hour stretch) by 9 weeks old. I didn't "force" him into anything, and he thrived on the flexible routine that was emphasized in the book.

Would I call myself an Babywise mom? Nope. Why not? Mainly, because I hate labels. I cannot live up to the expectations of any of these labels. And what happens when your child enters a new stage of his little life and what you were doing doesn't work anymore? To try, unsuccessfully, to continue on in a certain way, because that's what your particular parenting style says to do can make you feel like an utter failure as a mother.

So.... reading Dr. Sears' list of the 7 Baby B's (of Attachment Parenting).... I'm all for it. Especially because he's all about balance. But some moms don't get this. For example, with Thalo, we didn't co-sleep. But the opening sentence in his description of co-sleeping says, Wherever all family members get the best night's sleep is the right arrangement for your individual family. Thank you. I don't need to feel like an evil Mommy because my child sleeps on the other side of the wall. I spend a fair amount of time online, mostly getting inspiration from crafty mommy blogs (see my lefthand sidebar). But also to read up on parenting and the like. A lot of the topics I was searching for (ie. "how to treat a yeast rash when using cloth diapers") would, for example, bring me to a blog of a very crunchy AP mom where I would get distracted reading about "family cloth" (replacing toilet paper with cloth wipes for entire family. No, not for me thanks, but all the power to you). Anyways, I have been BAFFLED by the Attachment Parenting community. I thought Attachment Parenting sounded great..... except for the extremely high expectations that they put on themselves and each other! Count me out! This is not how Dr. Sears describes Attachment Parenting. Seriously, crazy moms, look it up here: What AP is Not.

One more thing. When Thalo was a few months old, he was waking up at 4:30 am for one feed, but suddenly, it started getting earlier and earlier. What the? No way! I thought. I was getting used to sleeping at night. A friend recommended to me to try to just re-wrap him (he LOVED being swaddled) and pop in a soother to see if he was waking because he was hungry or just out of habit. Well, it worked. He'd wake up a half hour later, hungry and then I'd feed him. Each night he would wake and eat later and later. After 10 nights he was sleeping on his own until 6 am. I know, some of you are probably horrified that I would do such a thing to my hungry little child. And some of you are taking notes for ideas on what to do next time around. My view is this: If, since the day I was born, I woke up in the middle of the night because I was hungry and someone brought me my favourite food - say, some chocolate pie and a glass of milk - I might just eat it. If I woke up in the night, but wasn't hungry (but I still woke up because we all wake up sometimes), but right away someone was there with a piece of chocolate pie and a glass of milk, you bet I would eat it. Well, I would if I didn't know any differently, if that's all I've ever known. There comes a point where babies physiologically do not NEED food in the middle of the night (I'm not giving numbers or ages here, because I don't remember where exactly I learned this - I think in university - and can't give you a real citation. I also hate that about mommy blogs where they throw around "facts" without citing sources, but you still start to feel like a bad parent because they may just be right and you are a failure), but the baby still may/will wake up and need comfort.... so give them comfort! .... which brings us to the issue breastfeeding for comfort/bonding, which I think is an AWESOME aspect of breastfeeding, but this Momma also needs her sleep to be a Happy and Patient Momma. Also important.

Anyways, this friend also lent me a book called The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg, which I loved. It followed the eat-play-sleep routine that we already liked. But it focused more on figuring out your baby's personality (ie. "Angel Baby", "Textbook Baby", "Touchy Baby", etc.) and applying parenting techniques to your individual baby. I recommend this book.
How do I feel about letting babies cry-it-out? Not my favourite thing. Firstly, I think it's important to make an effort to understand your baby's needs and his cues. I think it's important to try to bond with your newborn, not try to show them who is in control. HOWEVER. If you have the kind of baby who cries and cries for hours on end and you have tried everything you can possibly think of (a good friend of mine had a baby like this, and it wasn't her first baby either so she already had a good idea of how to be a parent - I don't know how she survived that first year), then hey, who am I to judge? You do what you need to do, Momma. And if it works for you - great. Do it. DO IT!

Which bring me to the BEST PARENTING STYLE, which is.... whatever works for YOU, for your HUSBAND, and for EACH OF YOUR BABIES at THAT PARTICULAR TIME. Oh, I know this sounds like the easy way out to say this. But each kid is different and you'll need a different approach with each one. Don't let other moms make you feel bad about what you are doing, and what is or isn't working for you. Don't raise your expectations for yourself, just because some perfect mother blogged about her perfect babies and told you how you should be just like her. Okay. There. I finally said it. Do what works for you, do what makes your little babies happy. THAT, my mommy friends, is the right way to parent.


Well Said