just a warning: multiple postings

clumsy me

i am clumsy

i don't know how i do it, but i tend to hurt myself soo easily

almost two years ago i slipped at the end of my drive way and broke my leg

jeremy classifies that as the hell time in our lives

i broke my leg 3 weeks before we were to move into a four level split that we were supposed to have mostly renovated by the time we moved in

not to mention that elias was 5 months old at the time

i couldn't carry him or anything else with the crutches

hell

well i had a time when i didn't hurt myself until the july

we were getting ready to go to a company golf day thing

went to put the stroller in the van for the person who was watching the kids and miss judged the door and hit my head

i really did need stitches but really wanted to golf

it was on my hair line so jer said no one would notice soo off to golfing we went

now

i stepped right on the edge of the carpeted stair and slipped

went down on my bum but had my hand on the rail, banister whatever you call it

well it went fast enough that i didn't get my hand out before it got the the bracket

where it is attached to the wall

well pretty sure it is not broken

in elementary school i got a soccer ball to the tip of the finger and it did the same thing

swelled, turned purple and blue

my mom took me in and they said it was badly sprained and jammed

I could still move it, but it was just super sore

really badly bruised

pretty sure that is what happened this time

i don't think it is broken so i have not gone in

i can still move it

it is just tender

I am sooo clumsy

and i wonder where my kids get it from

Finally did it

ok

so have you ever had something you have done but never had the opportunity

i have never had this done to me but know people that have

i liked hearing about it

i finally got my chance

i paid for the car behind me in the tims drive thru

it was not much, i was a little disappointed about that but whatever

as i drove away i had the strangest reaction

i was freaked out and worried

are they upset

are they creeped out

are they thinking i am crazy

are they mad

what are they thinking

what is their reaction

i tried to figure out for a long time why this concerned me

they don't know me

it was my money not theirs

why did it bother me

i liked doing it and would do it again but am still trying to figure out why i reacted the way i did

Time away

jeremy and i have been wanting to go the the spa, temple gardens that is. we actually went through air miles and got a pretty sweet room, well it was more of a suite, for free, well not for free we had to fork over air miles. but it was worth the 1300 air miles.

my in laws had promised zandria a sleep over sometime soon, well she was promised this in the summer. we got the voucher and booked it as soon as we could, which turned out to be thanks giving weekend.

well we have it planned for a while and were getting excited about shopping, and watching a movie and just relaxing in the hotel and pool.

a week and a half before we are to leave for our fun weekend, well only one night, but two whole days we get a offer of two tickets to the football game. what game you ask.... riders vs toronto. jer thought that i was going to say no... i am not that mean. he is a die hard rider fan i could never do that to him.

so we didn't actually get to the hotel until like 8 after we had a delicious supper at a cool restaurant. the restaurant was a restored old house that was once owned by one of the first people that lived in moose jaw. it was really neat.

then was the hotel so beautiful. the mineral spa was ok. quite warm, but i couldn't stay in there long. don't know why but my skin can't handle it for long. i start to sting.

it had been over a year and a half since we last did something like this.

it was well needed and well enjoyed.

Sanity.....How long will you last

Ok first of all Sorry. I know that I was going to do the blog everyday for a month, and have failed. We went away for a couple of days without the computer. When we got back I just didn't have much to say, and didn't think that anyone cared or read anyway......but got yelled at the other day from my aunt. Soooo sorry Ronna I will make it up to you.


So my sanity.
Not sure how long it will last with my boy being the way he is right now.
Zandria was never a picky eater. She would at least try something without much fight. She is pickier now then she used to be, but she is still willing to try and even eat everything for dessert.
Elias not soo much.
He has always been a fighter. He has never wanted to try new food, or try food that he doesn't reccognise, but ate alot of last time we had it.
We started forceing it into his mouth just to get a taste, and then he would eat what was in is mouth and then decide from there.
Now he won't allow that.
We put some in his mouth and he spits it out and screams.
Even stuff that he has liked and eaten before, like the week before, he still spits out.
He tries to just drink milk to fill himself up.
We limit that.
He has to taste the food.
It is not like I am making anything different than what I have been making since he was born.
He has had it all before but suddenly he doesn't like any of it.
He doesn't eat so he is grumpy.
He crys.
He whines
He screams
I am loosing my mind slowly.
If he doesn't eat he gets moody, and grumpy and I am going insane.
I can't just let him eat nothing be junk or bread and butter...can I???
I don't want to let him eat the things that he really likes, cause then he will get sick of it. He can't just eat yogurt, cereal and bread. He will get really sick of it really fast.
I don't know how much more I can stand.
What to do???

10 of my favorite things (in no specific order)

1. look at those big brown eyes...she is one of my favorites

2. look at that smile..... he is one of my favorites

(i have yet to meet a person that doesn't love that smile)

3. jeremy my loving, lovable husband

4. BSF bible study fellowship

5. fresh from the garden carrots

6. flyers

7. sunshine on an october day

8. when my kids play well together

9. my van....i love my van and the space it gives me...love it

10. getting away for a night without the kids to a hotel

(hehe we are going to the spa in moose jaw...you guessed it without the kids)

why does it have to be soo hard??!!???

we are going on a trip as most of you know. it is some place hot. i need to have a/some bathing suits to bring with.
why didn't i think of it earlier?
i am not sure it would have helped.
we are on a budget. can't spend $1oo per suit for two suits.
so what do i do......wait till end of season. what does that equal.....
a frustrating, bad, long irritating process.
a month ago i went and found a brown, green and purple top. didn't find a bottom cause i ran out of time. i loved that top i got. fortunately i have board shorts that kind of go with it.
my mission today was to find bottoms and maybe one more whole bathing suit.
NOPE. not soo easy.
most places don't have many out any more.
most sizes are super picked through.
or they are just kind of ugly the ones that are left.
YIKES
i bought something today.
i bought another top. it is black and white.
AND
a pair of bottoms....................that are blue..
YES i said BLUE.
so now i have potential for three swim suits and not one complete.
jeremy laughed sooo hard.
i have been avoiding going to the swimsuit store because of the price. the reason he is laughing soo hard is cause he told me to go there and get two suits and be done with it. i refused because i am mennonite, cheap, frugal, thrifty, whatever you want to call it.
WELL POO ON YOU jeremy... i still saved some money.
i have three pieces that where over half the price of theirs.
BUT the unfortunate thing is is that i still have to go and get them.
AAAHHHH

aaahhh that was fabulous.

today i got a friend to watch elias while zandria was at school so i could go for a much needed massage. (thanks elsa). i went to my mother in laws massage therapist. i was ssoooo sore before hand and even had a head ache. oh the bliss of laying there and having someone massage your headache away. i have never had someone do that before, usually i leave with a bigger headache that will only go away with a hot bath and a good sleep .
it was great. came home with the kids fed them and then got tired. i haven't slept well in probably a week, between my shoulders and neck being sore and elias having trouble with nightmares and night terrors. well i decided that everyone needed a nap. we laid down and were out. we all have close to a three hour nap. it was bliss. elias even woke up in a good mood. rare in the last week. zandria was less whiny. it was great.....until bed time. well bed time was a little later than wanted, but oh well........IT WAS FABULOUS.

Packing

packing

i usually like to pack

i am at a lost this time

i have never been anywhere where so much could happen

i could get bit by a bug and get malaria

i could eat something and get pukey

or worse diarrhea

i also know that i have time

i am a worrier

i am afraid that i may not find everything i need

or think i need

what do i need

help

i am a worrier and need help

Another week........

So I am sitting here watching Jeremy get ready for another week out of town.

He is watching football while he does this.

I am used to this but every so often I just don't want him to go.

Oh well

need money to live.

I would rather have this than shift work.

I have more to do this week than last soo maybe it will by fast.

More hair appointments

more stuff to prepare for for the weekend.

The best thing of all is that the long weekend is next weekend

WOOO HOOO

talk to you tomorrow.

which one are you ?????

i go to a bible study every thursday morning. i like it. it seems that no matter how often you read a passage or study it you always get something from it. whether it is something small or big you always get something. well... i had a big realization. i am sure that you all knew this, but i just didn't clue in until this past thursday.

isaiah 2-4 talks alot about pride and vanity. i don't classify myself as vain... but that is just what i think of myself. i never thought of myself as being proud..come on i chose to drive a mini van before i had kids.

well i still don't know how vain i am... i would ask someone to tell me, but i got call high maintenance once and that ticked me off. I would admit to being a little vain, but high maintenance NO i would not classify myself as such.

the proud thing and the minivan thing is soo true, well ok when it comes to my vehicles yes. my goal in life has always to be humble and happy with what i have. I love my life and i am happy. i beg my husband not to buy stuff for me and if soo cheapest of whatever as possible. I just want to make sure that what i have does not make someone into a green monster. i don't like when i turn into one soo i try not to make others stumble.

stuff is not the only thing that you can be proud of....proud of self is a problem. I don't have this problem either. this is arrogance, bloated head, full of themselves, and on and on. I am not like this.

but where i have the most problem is the opposite of arrogance. low self esteem. you might say that this is not a issue of pride. but it is.

pride is defined as absorbed in oneself. when you dwell about how good you think you are or how much you think you suck, you are still absorbed in yourself. your focus is still on YOU.

i struggle with the last one. i don't feel worthy of anything or anyone. but i am still thinking about me all the time. i am too fat, i talk too much, i am too pushy, i am too ugly, i am a bad mom, and on and on. i never saw this as pride. i saw this as humility.

i was wrong. it is the opposite.

instead of dwelling on what is not perfect and not the same as it used to be ( pregnancy does that) i should be dwelling on God. He made me the way He wanted and the way He likes. the funny thing about the whole thing is that in my head i am sure of that, but i still have such trouble letting other people see me as good cause that would be like blowing my head up and making me proud and that is not humble.

you ask me is there a happy medium.......yes, but to find that is only through God. He loves you the perfect amount and if you look towards Him He will help you with your self esteem issues and your pride issues.

so what am i doing....praying and trying my hardest to follow what He wants me to think.

soo which one are you???? low self esteem, too proud , or are you following what God wants you to think about yourself???? be honest.

One Whole Month....

hahaha so i am starting a whole month of blogging.

this is my first one, it will be lame.

jeremy and i are going to a friends 30th birthday party tonight.

i turn 30 this year and i am trying to decide if i want a party. i hate my birthday.

not because i am getting old, but because i hate being the centre of attention.

i like the fact that i am turning 30

i love my life. i love were we are as a family

i love what God is doing in my life and heart

why would i make a big fuss about turning old

i am not old

i know me now

i love that

so why don't i want to celebrate it

i HATE attention

what to do

what to do